Pope Alien . Commentary

Saturday, July 15, 2006

The truth about planet earth.

Ok. I'm going to tell you the truth now. Are you ready? Planet Earth is only 27 years old.

I know, I know.. You've heard otherwise havent you? Some 'scientists' want us to believe the earth is millions of years old, and some 'men of faith' want us to believe that the earth is six thousand years old, but you know what? They're all liars.

Our earth is only 27 years old.

It's true! I'm sure some of you (particularly those of you older than 27) may be suprised to hear this, and I can understand your reticence to believe, but you've just got to have faith. Are you going to believe carbon? or are you going to believe me? Planet Earth is only 27 years old, and that's Gods honest truth.

So now you know.

Space invaders oriental carpet

This is an awesome rug.
I want this rug.

Apparently its only a mock-up and there is no real carpet like this, but I must say it is a great mash-up and one I'd love to see in real life.

from here.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

My Problem (with starbucks)

If you knew me, you'd know I'm not a big fan of starbucks. It's not that they're a giant multi-national corporation, or that they grow like a green and grey fungus across the landscape, sometimes 3 to a block, blotting out the sun and making baby jesus cry.

No, its not that at all.

It's all about the strength and flavor (or lack thereof) of their espresso.

It's that their espresso is so goddamn weak I can barely tell its there. It's like coffee for blind baby kittens that need to have their caffiene intake carefully regulated. It's like kiddy-coffee with training wheels and colorful streamers on the handlebars. It's espresso for people that don't like espresso, but want to pretend that they do. It's watery, sad and pathetic and it makes baby jesus cry.

When I get a cup of the black stuff I want to be able to feel it. The cup should be vibrating before I even take the first sip, and when I DO take that first drink it should NOT make me think "..is this tea?" "Has there been some sort of mistake?" "are they making tea in their espresso maker?"

I want strong coffee! Coffee that makes me twitch, coffee that causes my frontal lobes to bang together like those little pendulum ball things you see in a science center gift shop. I want espresso that makes the sun come out and the birds sing german industrial death-metal. I want it all, and I want it now!

That is all.